While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize