theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
