it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
