I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
