Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
