i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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