I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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