One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
