so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
