I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize