You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
