The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
