New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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