if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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