Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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