I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
