We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize