I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A bitchslap is in order.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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