kristin has been a bad kristin
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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