Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
