That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
this hospital has no fireball
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
