I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
