I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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