You're so nebulous sometimes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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