Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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