Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
