Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
