Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
