Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
