I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize