The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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