I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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