marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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