I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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