the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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