I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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