so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
