We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
