I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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