So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
