she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
