belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
