as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
