just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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