I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
