Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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