I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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