We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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