I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We have started to decorate penises.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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