Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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