Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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