im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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