so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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