we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize