Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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