Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
