I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
